A little while back I did a 10 Random Facts About Me post and one of those 10 facts was that I had written and recorded a song that received commercial airplay on Nova 91.9 here in Adelaide.

That generated some interest and a few people asked about it. Since the ARIAs were on this week and I should have attended the 2007 ceremony, I thought I'd share the full story with you.

*wavy flashback effect*

The year was 2007, back when I used to listen to the radio before work in the morning and the Nova breakfast crew; Fitzy, Jules and Lisa announced a competition for listeners to write a rap about their suburb and send it in.

As it happens, I had an illustrious background as a lyrical gangster that started in high school where I performed oral reports in rap form (including the groundbreaking "Erosion" in Year 11) and went on to write joke songs, parodies and toilet-shaming ditties for various friends and workplaces. So this was totally my jam. Much like Eminem, I smashed out some verse in a tiny notebook about my then-burb, Brahma Lodge (Adelaide's 8-Mile equivalent) on the train on the way to work, typed it up, emailed it in under the stage name of MC Bethamphetamine and went about my day.

I was soon contacted by the station, who loved it and was invited to come in and record it in the studio! OM actual G. Here I am laying it down with Fitzy popping in to throw up a quick gang sign.


Note: This was before I learned to smile without losing my top lip. Also, dat fringe.

Recording was super fun and then I got to sit in the studio after while their sound guy put it to a backing track, laid some effects on and basically made it sound like an actual song. Fun fact: said backing track is basically a "stock photo" of the music world so I've heard it in advertisements and television promos since. Yes, I freestyle when I hear it, what of it.

The track, "Drama Lodge" was played during the breakfast show the next morning and people rang in to give feedback. Other people laid down their tracks for their suburbs and we all got played throughout the duration and uploaded to their MySpace page (which shows you how long ago it was, lol).

For my troubles, I won a 30GB iPod Classic which was worth about $400 at the time and which is still the primary music storage device at home. Shortly after, I headed off overseas to the US for my wedding / honeymoon trip and thought no more of it.

Until a few months later when they announced they were running a competition and throwing the tunes open to a public vote, where the winner would get a trip for two to the ARIAs.

THAT TRIP WAS MINE!

I enlisted an army of family and friends from around the world to vote and we started hammering away. These days, for such a thing, you'd have to enter an email address or some other kind of validation and get one entry. This was set up so that one click = 1 entry so it really was a case of who could smash out the most entries. There we were beavering away legitimately when Dodgy Dave from Morphett Vale seemed to be climbing impossibly higher. I consulted my IT friends who posited he had set up a macro on computer to auto-vote.

"Make it happen", I whispered and soon two of the IT computers here at work were doing the same.

It wasn't enough though, and as the competition drew to its final hours I knew I'd been done and I was MAD.

Nova announced the winner the next morning and threw in some comments about rigging computers and overloading the servers but STILL WENT AHEAD AND GAVE IT TO HIM ANYWAY despite my loads of legit votes from different people. Nearly ten years later and the pain is still real.

As a small consolation, a bunch of friends and family took it upon themselves to call and email Nova and tell them what for, most notably my friend Stacie who said, and I quote:

You'd be crazy to send Dodgy Dave to represent Nova and Adelaide at the ARIAs. I'm not talking Gnarls Barkley crazy, I mean baby danglin' Michael Jackson crazy. I'm talking head shavin' Britney Spears crazy!

His rhymes are weaker than the drinks at the Richmond. He has less flow than the River Murray*

His rap is more wack that Whitney Houston on crack. He makes Vanilla Ice look like Tupac.

* then in severe drought.

So I didn't get to go to the ARIAs but I did write and perform a song that got commercial airplay in Adelaide.

Oh, you still want to hear it?


People actually still remember it which I find funny. And you better believe I sing along when it comes on shuffle!

Ever been on the airwaves or won a radio competition?